Thoughts on Forgiveness
"We don't lose who we are, but reveal who we are through the gift of forgiveness"
It is sometimes easy to think that if we forgive someone, we are giving up a piece of our identify a piece of ourselves.
Somehow we justify, things wouldn't be fair, it wouldn't be right, the equation wouldn't be balanced, and justice not satisfied if we were to let this thing or things go. After all the pain and disappointment we felt at the root of it certainly was real, and how can that exist and their not be justice to balance it out?!
It strikes at the root of our very fundamental need for justice, which a need in itself is in fact elemental to who we as people and children of God are. It is also elemental to God, so it should not be a surprise that we as His children feel this need.
As I search the scriptures, forgiveness and to forgive are different. To forgive is the act (could happen quickly or slowly) of offering forgiveness to someone or something. Forgiveness and Peace is the destination, but to forgive can be quite the journey as it requires us in essence to "give up" something of ourselves. If we have made holding onto or defending a perceived injustice, a large part of who we are, then indeed it can be very threatening to heed the Savior's command to forgive.
First lets learn through asking some questions-
- should perceived injustice (recognizing that it might not be accurate, or we may not have the full story ) or real injustice (maybe we do) be allowed to be a fundamental piece of who we are? Is this poisoned part of us that was created through choosing to hold onto this resentment worth giving up?
- Who are we progressing to be like by holding onto it? Are we progressing to be like God?
- Can our need for justice, can it exist while still experiencing forgiveness?
- Can we heal without, forgiveness?
At the beginning of this article what was weighed in the scales of justice was "our pain", and what balanced it was "our resentment or bitterness" towards something.
We are sometimes tempted to think that they both are required to exist and forgiveness would upset the demands of justice. If we could remove the pain, perhaps then we could remove the bitterness or resentment. Ironically, by holding to what we feel balances the injustice prevents us from obtaining the very healing we so desperately need.
As He has already paid the price for all injustices, by the Laws of Heaven they are His to own, and so can balance the scales by providing healing and justice. Providing healing to us, and justice according to his perfect love and knowledge to this world and those in it. A world where his children, without any particular skill or adeptness are learning to figure out through "their own experience" the principles of Heaven.
By committing to the path of forgiveness, we by the very nature of the laws of justice that connects the pain with the need for justice place our feet firmly onto the path of healing. It is in the process of forgiving that true healing can occur, they are inseparably connected.
There was once the story of an Oak tree. A tall strong, beautiful tree. One day someone had been working in the field and left an axe head in the crook of the tree between two main trunks. Over the years the axe head was forgotten and the oak tree continued to grow and thrive, and the axe head was eventually grown over and the strong branches absorbed the tool. One day a powerful storm came, and the tree split in two right where the tool had been. People asked what happened? Even though the tree had "healed" over the tool, and looked fine, it was seriously weakened. It was the axe head that was never removed.
Can we truly be strong again without removing axe heads in our lives, can we truly heal without forgiving?
As we forgive we remove the beam (or axe head in some cases) that is in our own eye which allows us to more clearly see our brother. By seeing them more clearly, many injustices and sources of pain might be resolved, and greater compassion developed for the weakness of others. Compassion may even develop for the natural pain and consequences they may incur from the result of their weakness. In this we once again open our hearts to love and to feel love, and to know how to best minister to them.
Isn't it interesting that the gift of forgiveness is a gift (something given without expectation of something in return). It is something we can truly give, that there is no other way the other side can compensate for, or do enough for to earn it, hence the term of a gift.
Almost in return the Savior is the one who gives us something we can never compensate him for, The gift of healing and thus His Atonement and power begin to operate their miracles in our hearts and lives. Thank goodness for a Savior who bridges the injustices and hard things in life.
Who says:
Matthew 11:28-29
“Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls.”
Isaiah 55:1
“Ho, every one that thirsteth, come ye to the waters, and he that hath no money; come ye, buy, and eat; yea, come, buy wine and milk without money and without price.”
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